Coping.

We all find our favourite way of coping. Strangely, I do quite frequently have the 'WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE MEDS' discussions as though we're talking about our taste in food, or cars or music. I believe the basic principle behind that topic is 'tell me how you cope, what works for you, cause maybe I could try it'. I definitely have my favourite coping mechanism, though it's not prescribed and I often forget about it and go too long without it.

It's going to sound corny and a little pretentious, but my favourite way of coping is surrounding myself with brilliant people. There’s nothing I love more than being around people who makes me feel loved, cared for and important. And that's generally how people in general work. We feed off of that energy people give us because it feels good. Who wouldn't want to feel good?

It’s so easy to isolate yourself when you feel down. I do, I'll hold my hands up to it. I can't even count the amount of times I've felt alone and worthless when I could have just picked up the phone or knocked on a door. I often get overwhelmed with how alone I feel which results in anxiety of dealing with everything alone. I tend not to reach out when my mental state is pretty low for the feeling of burdening those around me, or being an annoyance and even the terrifying paranoia that if I did reach out, that they'd turn away.

It takes a few different occasions to remind myself that the people in my life are pretty darn great. I felt better than I had in a long time from just having a group of friends sat in my living room, playing card games, eating pizza and watching scary movies on a Monday night. Each person there I care for tremendously. I know a lot about them and why should I be surprised that they know me so well too. Each person actually took the time when they were alone with me at different point in the night to ask me how things were, talk about life at the moment and just how things are. I've never felt so special.

But it's not just that one night. I have the girl I met at uni who takes me for pots of tea and talks to me into the late hours of the night about anything I could possibly think of and is now so special to me (if only she didn't get snapped up in marriage so soon, darn ;]). I have the guy who will come over to my home just to make me cookie dough and watch shit films just so I'm not lonely. I have friend upon friend who will pick up with me where we left off when they hear a song that reminded them of a time we had - that's the best thing about my friends. We're so low maintenance; we have that mutual understanding that we don't have to talk every day to know we're there.

You know, I'm pretty pound of myself for my choices of company. I did well, though I can't take the credit for them being the best people you'll meet.

I will still feel alone and I will still feel down and heck, I'll have days so low I won't open the curtains. But regardless of all that, I know that the people who support me would be there if I only reached out. People aren't mind readers, and sometimes you just have to ask. That’s my advice, ask. Ask for help. Ask for company. Message them first, don't wait if you want to talk.

My coping mechanism is my support system. Even in the bleakest times you have to remember that there are people out there that love you that care for you, that would hate to see you suffer alone. You’re not alone.

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And as a side note, if my friends read this. Thank you. For everything. I don't take the time I should to let you know how much I appreciate you, how much I love you and how great my life is for you being in it. After all, I'm still here today for those of you who took the time and a chance on me. I'm amazed at how strong you are, how much care you have and how bloody brilliant every one of you are. I just hope if you ever feel alone, you'll remember that I'm there, at any time.