Sheep Have Failed Me

On an unrelated note, why is ‘sheeps’ not a word, yet the plural of sheep is sheep. English language is strange.


Onto the actual topic, sleep. I don’t think I’ve actually met a person that ‘counting sheep’ has worked for; it definitely hasn’t for me. A lot of illnesses come hand in hand with sleep issues and they often run in a vicious circle. For instance… less sleep = more pain and more pain = less sleep, so it just goes round and round.


First off, why can’t I sleep? For me it could be mental or physical problems. If I’m in a lot of pain, the chances of me being able to drift off are extremely minimal, I’m more likely to lay in bed making groaning noises to myself as I shift every 5 seconds trying to find the least painful position. There’s also the mental where as soon as I’ve got into bed, my head decides to overanalyse a three word sentence someone said to me six years ago – that and going through every aspect of my life in minute detail to create worries and issues that aren’t really issues at all.


My sleeping pattern includes laying there for a couple hours and not managing to reach the land of nod until the early hours of the morning, or falling asleep relatively quickly but waking up at 3am. Always 3am, I don’t know why my body clock enjoys 3am so much but I wish it would quit it and sleep through. If I wake up just the once, I’m lucky though to be fair. I can wake up multiple times in the night for no particular reason other than I can’t go through a proper REM cycle correctly. Basically, I cannot fall into a deep sleep with ease, therefor don’t get the regenerative benefits the body is supposed to receive while asleep – if I sleep at all.


I think the worst possible time to be awake is when you’re so tired, and you’re body is so done with the day, that the only thing you want to do is sleep…but your head won’t let you. You lay awake, absolutely exhausted yet sleep eludes you. Just me? At these points, you get desperate and start trying really odd things that could possibly help you get just a little bit of sleep. Counting sheep, weird hypnotising recordings, 100 year old breathing exercises… I tried watching boring documentaries to send me to sleep once, turns out I love documentaries. Failed.


So I’ve come to terms with the fact I’m going to be tired, borderline zombie, for the majority of the time I’m awake, but I have taken steps towards trying to make night time better. I’m not going to get a full night’s sleep, or any sleep, every night but the more nights I can manage will do me just fine. So I start with trying to get myself into a routine.


In an ideal world, I would have enough time in the day to have an hour long bath, then to slowly go through a wind down routine of moisturising and hair brushing, to then get into bed and have 30-60 minutes of ‘leisure time’ (reading or crap tv) to wind down the mind then lights off by 10 and boom, that’s a wrap. No, it doesn’t work like that. Partly because if I wanted to do that, I’d need to start at 6pm, and the majority of the time, I’m not even home by then. So the most important thing I find is to at least have a little wind down time, regardless of what time it is. Some time to yourself, doing something that isn’t going to be physically or mentally demanding. Make sure you’ve prepared yourself to switch off rather than expecting it just to happen. I also know that midnight means be in bed time. I try to be in bed for around 10, but latest 12 just to make sure that if I manage to sleep, I’m getting just about enough.


I cannot say it enough that it is so important that you invest in your bed. There’s no point in going for the cheap mattress and shit blinds that don’t block any light out at all. Sleep is the most important thing for us chronically ill folk. And let’s face it, we’re going to spend a lot of time in bed so it should be comfortable and not add to the discomfort you already have on the daily. The way you sleep is important too. This website describes the best kinds of sleeping positions and the benefits each have. Though honestly, I wouldn’t pay too much attention because I’m asleep…and I can’t really control my actions when I’m asleep (also a great excuse for when you dream your partner has annoyed you and you ‘accidently’ elbow them in the head…). I personally am a cuddler, I have to have my arm around something. I often have my pillow parallel to my body, slightly tucked under my chest for support so I’m not completely on my front but not completely on my side, with my arm tucked snugly around it. This is how I sleep best. I really do see the benefit in a body pillow for that reason.


Also, if you’re lucky enough to have a partner that is totally into spooning, that’s fantastic. When I experience a lot of pain in my back and down my legs, I personally find that I need some kind of support/pressure against the inflicted areas to reduce the pain. This is where having a ‘big spoon’ is great. You get the added bonus of it feeling quite loved up and affectionate, at the same time as having pressure against your hurty bits.


I have found that Smells are quite important. For myself, I often have sensory sensitivity, so smells in particular come across very strong. The wrong scent, usually something too floral or too sweet, can cause major migraines and destroy any chance of sleep, but the right subtle smell is a great way to relax the body. I like to light a scented candle or use oil melts up to an hour before bed so the room still smells nice but it isn’t too overbearing. I will also go for scents that are quite mellow like traditional vanilla and a personal favourite would be Black Coconut by Yankee Candles. I have tried the lavender pillow sprays from the likes of Avon and Tesco but the smell is way too sweet and applied to a pillow that is going to be pretty much on my face, it’s way too strong. I want to relax my brain, not overstimulate it with strong scents.

Honestly, when I started out with this post, I wanted to be able to include useful hints and tips on ways to get to sleep. Truth is, I’ve not figured that out yet myself.  My methods aren’t 100% full proof, sometimes they work, others I’m left lying awake in the dark. Plus everyone’s different, what works for some is not going to work for others. I’ve tried and tested so many things to sleep, but I can’t say some are crap and just don’t work at all, because they might work for some of you. I find guided meditation difficult to follow because I’m childish and words will make me giggle, whereas I know people who swear by it. So to finish off with, I hope you find what works for you. I wish a good nights rest on each and every person who will come across this post.